Thrifty The Snowman

It just so happens that yours truly stopped by the thrift store to see if what this Mackeral fella was saying was true.

The important discovery was that holiday time is an excellent time to visit your local thrift store if you are a fan of being horrified by ceramics.

Here’s a selection of some of the finer snowmen available at YOUR local thrifting outlet.

 

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Ah, perfect.  A snowman with a nice scarf and a carrot stapled onto his face.  Just like when we were kids.

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Honey, just don’t look directly into his eyes and go to sleep.

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At some point you’re walking down the third aisle of decorations.  You’re wondering how many aisles more are out there.  It really becomes a carnival of the grotesque.IMG_1543

Then you see a snow globe with yellow liquid inside.  It can’t be urine.  Although that’s a hell of a way to quit after your lat day at the snow globe factory.IMG_1540

This looks less like a snowman and more like someone’s Russian grandmother who lost too much in the great war to ever REALLY recover.

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Conjoined snowman twins.  Do conjoined twins dress in the same clothes?  I mean, on the one hand, I’m sure they don’t necessarily like the same stuff.  On the other hand, is their clothing the strangest thing about them?

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The hot tub, aka Snowman Death Chamber.

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The eyebrows on this guy made it look like he unwittingly killed a child and hasn’t made a firm decision on whether or not to tell anyone.

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Perfect.  A snowman with the face of a man.  Nothing terrifying about that.  Imagine this little face lit by a single candle.  As that candle is driven directly into your eye.  Happy Holidays!