Most dads would be proud to have three ninja sons who foiled an international plot of evil. Most dads would be over the moon. Way over. Probably over Mars.
But most dads are also complete idiots. That’s why they have kids in the first place. They were too dumb to avoid making a baby grow inside someone, sometimes even a bunch of times in a row. I get making babies in different people. You maybe slipped up once, but then you’re thinking, “Surely this lady’s parts don’t work the same way. So if I stick with the plan, I should be safe.” But to put more than one baby in the same lady? That’s just being real dumb.
You know how else dads are dumb? They can’t figure a way out of doing dad stuff, so they pick up these hobbies that they absolutely hate, but it’s just a way they can be out of their houses. Like fishing. THat’s the dumbest shit ever. Why does fishing happen at 6 AM? Do fish even know what time it is? Does that even matter under the water? And why did they have to invent a new kind of fishing where you stand in the middle of the goddamn river? I went fishing one time, and you know what happened? Nothing. Except that my kids got my a tie that looked like a big fish instead of a tie for Christmas that year because I went fishing one time. Which was perfect for wearing to things that you have to wear ties to, like funerals or whatever that thing is where you tie it around a doorknob and try to cum before you die.
Which I guess brings us right back to my kids.
You’re saying, “Dave, you’re talking all this bad stuff about dads, but YOU’RE a dad. How does that work?”
Well, I’ll tell you how it works.
I ejaculate too much. Seriously. There’s a lot in there. It’s not a good thing. It’s a terrible thing. I go long enough that I’m done orgasming way before the cum stops. Way before. Back when, I’d overflow a condom. Seriously. And let me tell you, there was room to spare. I’d have to tie the thing off like a water grenade and then set it gently in the trash to make sure it didn’t pop. Now I keep one of those long tubes full of Deep Rock water cones clipped to the headboard, and I’ll usually fill at least one.
So I’m not entirely sure about how biology works, but I think it’s safe to say that this problem had something to do with all of these boys running around. The ninja thing is another story.
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