The Worst President

Wait, wait, wait.  Who is this guy?

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This guy, right here

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Which president, exactly, is that supposed to be?  Because my memory of history sucks.  I answered Chester A. Arthur to almost every question on a history test once.  I thought he must be significant because he was the answer to one of the riddles in Die Hard with a Vengeance.  It turns out that he’s not important at all, but they probably named a fictional school after him in Die Hard with a Vengeance because they needed a name NO ONE would really use.

HOWEVER the man above does not appear to be any presidents that I recognize.

What is the fear, that if someone sees a drawing of a real dollar that they will somehow use that drawing to forge dollars?  As opposed to using as a reference, I don’t know, A DOLLAR!?

And what is this man’s hair?  Black in front, black in back, blonde in the middle?   With long but thin sideburns?

Actually, after looking at it, I think this might not be a president but instead the Asian Wolverine.

I mean, good christ, I bet whoever drew that in four seconds had no fucking idea how many people would stare at that wretched face while a dollar machine kept kicking back bills.  Maybe that’s it.  Maybe they didn’t want a real president to be associated with that pain.  Fucking 2013 and you can’t get a handful of quarters without smoothing out dollars.  If someone in 1993 had told me I’d still be flattening dollars when I went to the arcade, I’d have killed myself.  I don’t know how you kill yourself when you’re ten, but I would have found a way.

…now that I think about it, second reason to kill myself would have been that I’d be in total disbelief that I’d be going to arcades as an adult.  Touche, past Pete.