Gentlemen, welcome to the war room. Let’s take a look at the model.
Uh…we don’t have any models.
What? Guys, what the fuck?
Well, it’s war time. We couldn’t locate any little army men or anything.
Ah, Christ. Is nothing sacred? Okay, Okay. Could we use anything else? Do we have anything?
We did find a big case of Hot Wheels.
What the fuck are Hot Wheels?
They’re little cars. They look just like the real thing, but they’re smaller and die cast.
What the fuck is die cast?
It’s…I don’t know.
Perfect. Okay, fine. Set up the “Hot” “Wheels” and let’s get started. Where’s that big long stick that we use to push them around?
…
Don’t tell me we don’t have the big long stick. Guys, what the fuck? What have you been doing this whole-
Is this a pool table!?!? Is this a goddamn mother-humping pool table!? Okay, before I continue asking for things that we really should have and don’t, why don’t you just tell me what we DO have.
Weeeeee haaaaaveeee…well, you’ve seen the pool table and the Hot Wheels. We have those. And then pretty much that’s it.
Great. Well, line up so you can all get fucking medals. Does anyone here outrank me, is there anyone I can quit to? Because this is bullshit.