Alright, son. Have a seat.
On the table you will see a black folder. Do not open it.
Contained within are ten vignettes printed on ten sheets of paper. They are numbered one through ten. Each vignette represents one of my top ten sexual experiences shared with your mother. Each is described in graphic detail.
Here is a sample from number ten:
“As I removed my fingers from deep inside your mother, I could feel your mother’s engorged labia thrusting forward, dripping with anticipation and need.”
Ten is the tamest of them all, one the most severe.
From now on, every time you are in trouble I will be reading you one of these stories. You will sit, listen, and then comment on both the narrative itself and writing style.
Keep your nose clean.