– Fall out of boat and drown in rapids.
-Fall out of boat and drown, not so much because of rapids but because the water is surprisingly peaceful underneath the surface and I just don’t know if it’s worth the paddling to stay alive anymore, really.
-Lit cigar pops boat.
-Integrity of boat compromised when I repeatedly try to do the thing where you launch a bottle rocket by tossing it into the air right when the wick runs out so that it never hits the ground. “Dude, I can do this. Just one more try, serious” will be my final words.
-End up so goddamn drunk that I confuse my tent with the raft, night for day, and oxygen for water.
-Attempt to ride motorcycle straight across river ends in abrubt, Youtube gold.
-After the 100th question that ends with “…really? You guys have [blank] in Argentina?” Nica hits me over the head with a wine bottle.
-Electrocuted by combination of river, iPod, and Alabama’s Greatest Hits.
-Raw hotdog consumption (really a death possibility on any weekend).