Well guys, this was a weird one.
I read some reprinted comics in the volume I Shall Destroy All Civilized Planets which included a bunch of comics from the late 30’s/early 40’s. And let me tell you, strange.
The cover has an image of our hero, Stardust, much like the one above. He’s almost always pictured flying like this, facing away from the reader, kind of a depressed attitude to him. Could he possibly look more depressed about flying?
Like a lot of heroes from this time, Stardust is basically a Superman with more powers than…uh, Superman. More powers than Double Superman. In fact, in any situation, he seems to demonstrate a new power to handle things.
In the first issue, he finds a group of evil spies. He throws them all out a window where they are suspended in mid-air, and then he uses a ray on them that causes the skeletons of their innocent victims to appear before their eyes.
That’s the only time he uses this power set. It’s weird. It’s like every one of his powers is a waffle iron, really one use only kind of things. It’s what’s funny about Green Lantern. If I was Green Lantern, I would have Giant Green Rock, Giant Green Boxing Glove, and perhaps the occasional Giant Green Grabbing Hand. That would cover most of it, I think. But Stardust, this guy likes exploring all the options.
More than that, he seems really interested in not just foiling criminals, but in ruthlessly punishing them.
A group of bad guys decides to rob all the banks in the city, and to do so decide to destroy all transportation using bomber planes to take out cops and just whoever is around. After apprehending them, Stardust whisks (this is a word they use a lot in this book, “whisks”) them away to a distant planet. The planet is covered in gold and jewels, but the gravity is so strong none of the gangsters can lift any of it. Also, the planet’s air is vitamin-enriched so that they can continue living for a long time just by breathing. Also, he advises them to enjoy the sight of these riches as long as they can because it’s about to be night, which is pitch black and lasts for centuries.
He punishes another guy by taking him to a prison of floating eternal ice where he’ll be able to see and think but never move, and he’ll live forever to “think about [his] crimes.”
Possibly my favorite, Stardust uses a ray to shrink a dude’s body until it’s so small that it’s absorbed by the head.
The guy is just a living head, at which point Stardust “hurls him into a space pocket.” A giant headhunter, which appears to be a muscular body with no head, catches the living head man and then places the head on its shoulders. THEN the head disappears into the body.
I probably don’t have to explain why all of this is weird. I’m sure it comes off as weird on its own.
I think what I find extra bizarre, though, is that we would probably shy away from a comic book where a guy was running around, cutting people’s heads off or blowing them in half with a 12-gauge. Yet, this is acceptable. Being forever imprisoned motionless is somehow easier for us to take than the idea of just killing somebody. It’s pretty sick, really.
It also reminds me of how every so often you see a show and they have one of those creative judges. The ones who, instead of sending a dude to prison, makes him stand on a street corner with a sign that says “I Stole” or something like that. I hate that crap. I don’t know what chafes me about it. I don’t really care about the parties involved. I think it’s maybe just because I feel like, deep down, judges who do that stuff are looking forward to hearing about themselves on TV or something, about how clever they are. It’s not wrong. Just disappointing
Oh, and as a parting shot, this:
That is indeed one well-armed gangster. I can’t help but question his use of his armaments, but he appears to be effective. Sometimes it’s best to let people find their own way.