“Sorry I’m late. There was a bee that kept buzzing by my motor and I was afraid to go while he was right next to my thigh.”
“It should have been an easy ride, but my backpack was really full of comics.”
“What if I get a boner while I ride from the vibrations and then wreck and then break my boner?
“I need to figure out a better way to wear this helmet and still have Big League Chew without feeling like my cheeks are squished.”
“It’s a hard choice of which sticker to put on my helmet. Dachschund with ‘What’s up dog?’ on top, or American flag with an eagle ripping through it, or American flag with a wolf wrapped up in it, or a Frankenstein in a baseball uniform.”
“The goddamn pipes melted the sides of my water shoes!”
“Women’s sunglasses are a better fit on my face, but also hard to wear inside a helmet…”