So I get online to see if Borders has a DVD I’m looking for. Yes, I know that there are about 50 better, cheaper places to get it, but I need it by tomorrow. So you could sort of say that the “Borders” they are talking about are the confines of their hard-gripping hand around my tender balls. I look online and make a terrible discovery. So then I make another search:
The real issue here is the In Store Status, which for Avatar, biggest movie of the last several years, says, “Likely in Store.” To that, Borders, I say, “NO FUCKING SHIT!” I’m aware that it is likely in the store. I got online to check and see if it was FOR SURE in store, or at least IN STORE AS OF THIS MORNING. Okay, if I typed in something I didn’t expect to be in store at all, like “Replacement Gas Tank Honda CMX250 Rebel,” it might be useful to know that this was even likely in store. THAT is new information to me. But I should fucking hope that Avatar is likely to be in your shit store.
Thanks for nothing.