Thoughts on Moving Into Fictional Video Game Cities Based on Name Alone

Raccoon City
As much as I enjoy a nice raccoon here and there, I feel like a city named for them might have a higher raccoon density than I prefer.

Silent Hill
I mean, if we move to a place called Silent Hill I think we’re forfeiting our right to be surprised when we get murdered.

Vice City
They should have just called it “Vice.” That’s gutsier. They don’t call it Vice Magazine. Just Vice.

Rapture
That’s a little too enthusiastic for me. How was your burrito? Oh, it was RAPTUROUS. No, it was fine. Just say it was fine.

Sim City
Again, when the word city is right in there I feel like someone gave up. And what is sim? Like the skateboard company? Because I’m not enough into skateboarding that I’d live in a city that’s based around it.

Myst
Oooh. Pretty sure that the citizens are more into LARPing than I’m used to.

The Grid
Jesus. Are you sure that’s a city and not a George Orwell novel? One that even HE felt was a little over the top with its message?

Fyrestone
Great name for a company that makes shit with skulls and flames. Like floormats for trucks. Living there? Not so much.