Thanks for coming to our craft day! This should be a TON of fun.
Over here we’ve got paper, crappy scissors that couldn’t even cut something as delicate as a baby’s eyelid skin, paste, sweet delicious paste, and some other stuff.
Glitter? Of course we have glitter. Please step right this way.
This is the glitter chamber. All glitter should be applied to your crafts in this area.
All done? Awesome! Let’s head back out. We just have to go through a couple things to try and keep glitter from getting everywhere.
First things first, you’ll need to swim through this chamber. If you look across the room, you’ll see that there is a shallow pool, and in the center is a piece of plexiglass dividing the room. The only way across is to duck under the plexiglass, fully submerging yourself in the water. I’m afraid I will also have to ask you to open your eyes while under the water as well, just to be safe.
Nicely done. Go ahead and remove all of your clothing and put it in this incinerator. Great!
Now you’ll have all the hair chemically removed from your body. This will be very hard on your skin. It’s a shame, however you can expect to regrow the top layer within 28 days, and scarring is rare and minimal.
Alright. Here’s the isolation chamber. You’ll be quarantined here until you’ve been glitter free for 90 days, at which point we will open this nautical-style door and bring you out, blinking against the sun’s harsh light, into the world again.