It is improper to stay in the car, send your son out to the Redbox, and then demand that he shout the available titles back to you. Why? Here’s the thing: a gas station parking lot isn’t exactly the most serene place in the world. But when your activities are disrupting even THAT environment, there’s a serious problem. And that problem is that I hate you.
If you are at an outdoor machine with that little flap over the screen, it is improper to lift it, step underneath it, and then let it rest on top of your head. You’re not taking a goddamn photo in the 1800’s.
It is improper to turn around and talk to me while you’re waiting for your movie to vend. If you must, it better be your best shit. Prep some good material. Because when you tell me a joke, and then we still stand there waiting, every minute takes one year off of my soul. Not my life. My soul.
It is improper to call the RedBox “The McDonald’s Cinema.”
It is improper to stop at the RedBox and bring the movie to my house without bringing fries. Seriously. You were right fucking there. I don’t care which Die Hard it is, this is bullshit. But it’s not Die Hard 2, right?
It is improper to use the RedBox if you have a posh accent. Seriously, we expect better of you.
It is improper to joke about the RedBox vending pornography. Some of us feel this is a serious issue and don’t appreciate you using it to get a laugh out of your buddies, friend.