Sent From My Smartphone

If your phone does that thing where you send an email and it says “sent from my smartphone” at the bottom, I don’t care for you as a person.

Seriously, how is that necessary? My emails don’t say “Sent from my palace of sadness while wondering if life really gets better.” They don’t say “Sent from a computer which has developed from tool to companion to master. It doesn’t say “Sent from my smartphone, which is primarily used as a miniature portal to pornography.” They don’t say “Sent…from the heart.” They don’t say “Sent from a version of me that existed only at the time this was written, never to exist again and instead to be molded and changed by the crashing waves of emotion in an uncaring and brutal world.”

I’m just saying.