What a strange, strange couple of days it’s been.
Being captured by a dinosaur was bad enough. Then I heard someone was coming to my rescue, for which I was very thankful. I though, Wow, there’s really someone out there who is going to go to all that work? For me?
I mean, we’re talking about lava puts and flying turtle men. This is not like, I don’t know, committing to being better about taking out the garbage or something.
I would be lying if I said that I was prepared for the man who showed up. Don’t get me wrong, Mario seems like an alright guy. But….it’s just, getting here involved broad jumping 10-foot chasms. I guess I was expecting someone a little less…dumpy.
He’s a plumber, and that’s great. He fixed a leak in one of the bathrooms at the palace here almost right away. I had to hit him over the head with a ball peen hammer to shrink him down so he could fit more comfortably in the cabinet, and that was a little disconcerting. But all in all, he seems like a hard worker.
Some of this habits, though. Like when we go out somewhere, he pays for everything with a big pile of change. I didn’t know that in his world, coins are something you have to earn. But he doesn’t understand that in this world, it’s kind of classless to just pick up all the coins sitting around. It’s a point of pride for us that people can just leave money out and nobody will take it. But he seems to feel like, I don’t know, like it would be okay to go on a date and rip flowers out of someone else’s garden, which he has also done. The flora is also a big problem for him. Nobody else seems affected by everything here, but it seems like every single plant had an effect on Mario. They make him big or make him shoot fire. He ate a piece of celery and his penis fell off. Since then he’s mostly taken to eating various animals milling around, which is a bit uncouth, but so far has spared him most of the troubles he experienced with veggies.
I’m not sure what the obligation is here. I mean, he risked his life AND his brother’s life to save me. But there must be a number of Lakitus a person can skewer and rotate over a fire before things are even.