“She plays volleyball.”
Does that whole thing where they aggressively call things translate to other parts of life? If I offer to help with chores, is she going to flip on me and tell me that she said she had it? Because I’m more into discussing that stuff than seeing how can shout first. I’m a pretty slow shouter.
“She takes self-defense at the rec.”
No thanks. Thinking long term, I just can’t imagine having a photograph of a woman in a karate robe standing in front of a blue laser background, having that on my desk and saying, “Oh, that’s my wife.”
“She plays softball.”
How seriously? Wait, better question, how drunkenly?
“She plays basketball.”
Well, that probably won’t work out. She must be tall, right? Frankly, I’d have a better shot in a wheelchair. I feel if I was in a wheelchair I could say I was 6’1″ and she might not know. I have the torso of a much taller man.
“She does roller derby.”
Is she open to me helping come up with her cute derby name? Because I’ve got some good ones. Some of them aren’t even racial.
“She golfs.”
Eeew.
“She’s a great swimmer.”
I’ve never seen a hose at the pool. I have seen a handicapped child drooling into the pool from outside, on the edge. So I’m not saying it’s all spit in that pool…I’m just telling you what I saw.
“She’s really into rock climbing.”
Aw, awesome! We could totally do that together! I have all the stuff. OOooo, wait. Is rock climbing the one where we have sex while listening to our invdividual iPods?