Teacher,
Next time we do reports, can you make Ross do a report on something besides snakes? I know this is your first time having him as a student, but I’ve been in class with him for years now, and I’m telling you that every single goddamn report he’s ever done is about snakes. And then the report is just him bringing in a snake.
I suggest that you suggest he do a report on money, bring in some money, and then we all get double nachos at lunch.
-Peter