Aw, good morning guys! Wow, gifts in bed. You shouldn’t have.
Let’s see, from Jenny, my favorite little girl in the whole world…wow. Did you buy this yourself, honey? No, no, I LOVE it. I’m just surprised they let you buy nicotine patches yourself.
Okay, and from Andrew, little man…oh, a brand new razor. Just the blade here…oh, wait, there’s a card. Did you cut this from the newspaper for daddy? Oh…did you highlight these parts yourself? These parts about a suicide where the woman didn’t die because she didn’t slice her wrists the long way? Um, thanks, honey.
And then Janet, the baby. Let’s see what we’ve got in here. It’s pretty light. I hope you didn’t think you could be cheap on daddy, now. Let’s see, a picture in a nice frame. That’s really nice of…who took this picture? I just…with you pointing a gun straight into the camera like that it kind of came out like you want to kill daddy.
Boy, wow. What a day, huh? Thanks, guys. I’ll just get up an make myself some…oh, you made me breakfast? An unwrapped Egg Mcmuffin that was in your coat pocket. Thank you so much. It’s cold and, uh, thanks again.