“,…and then the cop asked me where I was going, so I told him work.”
“What you should have said was, ‘Hey man, where were YOU going?’ Because it’s usually worthwhile to engage with the police in that way and I find them receptive to that sort of fooling around.”
“…and then, after the lady cut in line, she asked me if I would watch her cart for a second while she ran to grab something really quick. Can you believe that?”
“Ah, dude. What you should have said was, ‘Hey bitch, you can’t just cut in a line. I’ll fuck you up big time.’ You should have verbally assaulted her, big-ass-time.”
“…so finally the guy tells me that he’s going to talk to my manager.”
“What you should have said was, ‘How about I call your manager and tell him what a shitty job you’re doing representing his store around town? I bet your ass wouldn’t like that very much.”
“…but then he left before I could say anything. Still, he parked in my spot.”
“What you should have said was something really smart that would have verbally destroyed him but only could be conceived by someone outside the situation because the very nature of the situation is what made it so hard to react to in the first place.”