1. Define a Question:
A spider has escaped between the baseboard and the wall in my apartment. Not wanting to spray anything too chemical-y inside, can I spray him down with Lemon Pledge and kill him?
2. Observation:
Lemon Pledge is a decent cleaning product. Little known fact: it can be used for quick touch-ups on a motorcycle as well. Just avoid using it on the seat as this makes it a little slippery and (another observation) makes you almost die.
3. Hypothesis:
Because Lemon Pledge seems to be laden with all sorts of nasty shit, none of which is lemons or promises, it is my theory that it will kill a spider.
4. Perform an experiment:
Three different spiders were sprayed with Lemon Pledge. The one hiding in the baseboard, one that built a web behind the garbage can in the bathroom, and a third that ran out of nowhere when the second started tasting the lemon-y taste of death.
5. Analyze the Data:
The two observable spiders did die. However, they were so fully coated with Lemon Pledge that their color changed and they had an almost frosted appearance.
6. Interpret and Draw Conclusions:
Lemon Pledge will, in fact, kill a spider. However, it requires a direct spray and quite a bit of it. Also, the spiritual need to actually view the spider as dead is not to be denied, and an important step that cannot be bypassed. The spider in the baseboard could be dead, but “could be dead” is just not enough.
7. Publish Results:
Here you go. You’re welcome.
8. Retest (frequently done by other scientists)
Please test this theory and let me know how it goes. Feel free to experiment with other aerosols as well. Spray paint, spray cheese, pretty much spray anything.