Name: Pete
Phone: 303-KIC-KASS
Occupation: Kicking Ass (once this goes through, anyway).
Weapons Training: Once used a tennis racket to kill a bunch of moths in the garage at mom’s house.
Please Explain Why You Are Applying for a Concealed Weapons Permit: Oh, where to begin. I could tell a really long version of this story that has to do with kids who wouldn’t leave me alone in school and a dad who did nothing but leave me alone, sending me into a shame spiral and so on. Or, I could just say Fear of Other Races as I suspect that this cop-like organization would understand that quite well. Whichever one of those is more enjoyed by this governing board works for me.
What Type of Weapon Do You Intend to Conceal: Maybe one of those Dirty Harry guns. Or a James Bond one. Or one like the ones that the Transformers have. Any sort of movie gun, really, is fine with me. Except that shitty revolver with the heart in the middle instead of a normal cylinder. What movie was that from? Doesn’t matter. It only held two bullets and it was bullshit.
Do You Possess a Full and Complete Understanding of Gun Laws? Oh, absolutely. Everything from don’t shoot it at the sky t don’t shoot it at the ground and all things in between.
Have You Informed Your Neighbors and Friends That You Are Making This Decision: Yes, I have. It was in the form of screamed threats, but I think the message definitely got across in a serious way. When people see a neck vein, that’s a little reminder of, Oh, this dude is serious.
Questions/Comments: More of a question AND a comment.
How come these forms always say “Questions/Comments” when they really mean “Questions OR Comments?” It’s not really the same thing. If I was filling out a dating application and I had to circle a preference in gender, I would circle Man or Woman, and only if I were heroically drunk and mildly lonely would I circle Man/Woman. I’m pretty sure the slash is designed to indicate a blend of two categories, such as Two-Face being a man/monster, as opposed to two distinct and separate categories, such as Beer/Wine.