By clicking the box below, you agree to all the stuff in here. Even the stuff that doesn’t make sense to you, making it very difficult to agree to. It’s really like getting a duck to sign a condo lease.
Did I mention that you are free to not sign this agreement? I mean, if you don’t, you aren’t able to use this new thing even though you paid about $400 bucks for it. But hey, there’s probably not much in here that’s bad, right?
Okay, first off, just understand that most everything you wanted to do with this device is technically illegal in some fashion. The only legal use of it is setting it on a coffee table or rolling it up in your sleeve to look like a pack of cigarettes. Even going through the steps to install the software is kind of a gray area.
You also agree that anything you add to this device no longer belongs to you. If you add media, it’s not yours anymore. Even if you created it originally. If you put a sticker on this thing, it’s ours, bitch.
You agree that when this device is no longer useful, you will dispose of it in the proper way. We give you no indication of what that might be, how you might do it, or how far you would have to drive to do it, which sort of defeats the environmental aspect of it, but we do specify, via small symbol on the back, that throwing this thing in a garbage can is an act equal in dastardliness to pushing a prisoner of war into a flaming ditch.
Congratulations to you for getting this far. You know, you really aren’t doing yourself any favors. If you’d just clicked the button immediately, you could have cited an unfamiliarity with technology and said you didn’t even know you were agreeing with anything. Would have been worth a shot, at least. Or maybe you could have taken video of a baby pushing the button while you weren’t in the room. Or, you could just say that there’s no box for “disagree,” so it’s not really a choice of any sort. There are ways around it.
Hmm…while you’re here, you might as well also agree with something insane…white power? Yeah, you agree with that on a fundamental level now. Have fun eating at ethnic restaurants.
Again, thanks for buying our product. I don’t know who the hell spends that amount of cash and then returns the item based on the idea that they didn’t click the user agreement.
Well, thanks for hanging in there. You can read the next 40 pages if you want, but to be honest we just copied and pasted the contest rules from some radio station in Toledo.