A new dummy has joined the parade of people I hate from my gym.
A gym is a really good place to pick up enemies, especially enemies who don’t know they’re your enemies. I highly recommend it if you feel like you have too many friends and not enough people who piss you off for no real reason.
The latest on the list is a woman who spends her afternoons jogging in a skirt. This is not a tennis skirt or some kind of Nike workout skirt. This is a long denim skirt, the kind worn by whatever the fuck religion that is where all the women wear their hair long, up in buns, and don’t own a pair of pants.
This is a pretty hilarious fashion thing as is. Why your religion would decree that you shouldn’t wear pants is beyond me, and why a long denim skirt is somehow acceptable is just as strange as neither of these things were invented for god to ban back in bible days. But what makes it extra special is watching this woman jog circles while wearing this ridiculous outfit.
I suppose you could look at it as this being some poor woman, possibly oppressed, but I don’t think that’s going to fly here. Just quit your dumb religion. It’s really easy, believe me. It’s like cable. Once you quit, you’ll go back and be unable to decide why you were so hooked on this shit, what with all the commercials and everything. Do churches have commercials yet? During the speeches or whatever?
Lady, you are a piece of shit. If you believe in a god that is going to be pissed off because you wore a garment that covers both of your legs independently but equally well, I shudder to think what else you might believe he’s doing to fill his days.
And why would he be so into the skirt thing anyway? I feel like that provides a lot more opportunity than pants for people to see your underwear on accident. By the way, I can’t even imagine what kind of underwear is worn under these denim things, but they must be absolutely hilarious.
Since when does the bible say you should wear skirts, but nothing about jogging? How can you jog? You’re living your dumb life by these rules set down forever ago, in a time when jogging was something you did to avoid being enslaved to build a pyramid as opposed to getting that heart rate up into some kind of zone, so how does jogging even make sense? Shouldn’t you be busy doing other shit, like churning something or coughing next to a fire as you die from some mysterious disease that you can’t go to because you would never be so foolish as to let one of those witch doctors prescribe you their devil medicines?
Do you drive a car? Is that okay? Can you drive any color you want?
I would say you should either be in or out. Live like it’s fucking bible days, or get with the times and buy some sweats. Otherwise, I guess I’ll see you on Sunday morning. Oh wait, no I won’t, because I’ll go ahead and enjoy my life by sleeping in as everything will be darkness and nothing after this. But to each his own.