Dear Diary:
It has been suggested that I keep this diary. By my therapist. I normally don’t listen to the advice of a guy with a mushroom head and wearing a vest with no shirt, but I’ve agreed to try and make this whole thing work.
Lately I’ve been feeling…I don’t know. It’s hard to describe.
My brother, who is a lot like me, is still this single, tall guy. I used to think I was the one to be envious of, you know? I had this princess, I was the star of the show. But now I find myself jealous of L. L. has everything that I find myself wanting. He has a free life as a bachelor. He has the freedom to go off and do whatever he wants. He can go out in public if he just puts on a baseball hat and sunglasses.
I guess that’s the main thing for today, diary.
*
Dear Diary,
Saved the Princess again today. Whoop-dee-shit.
You know, the first few times I saved her, there was this spark, this connection. But after a few times, it starts to fade. I can’t help but feel like she feels it too. It used to be I would save her and we would take a couple years off, really get reacquainted, go on vacations, just the two of us. But now, after I save her, it’s right back to the grind again. Maybe we’ll order a pizza or something if we feel REALLY CRAZY, but usually it’s just another night of leftovers and me falling asleep on the couch because she always wakes up from my snoring.
The thing that drives me really crazy is that I never know if it’s me or her. Am I getting tired of it all and putting in less effort, or is she putting out less love which leaves me less to reflect back.
I think part of it is that the adventure is getting to be too much. First it was just me and L. going through a land. Then it was a world. Then an entire galaxy. I just don’t see how we can keep up this pace, how a relationship can be predicated on a constant upping of the ante all the time.
Thanks, Diary.
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Dear Diary,
I’m afraid that my pet, Yoshi, has passed away.
I didn’t think I would take it this hard.
We were riding out in the desert, and a turtle shell came flying up and knocked me to the ground. This Yoshi was a good one, but sometimes he spooked easily. He galloped away and straight into the quicksand. I tried to pull the reigns and get him out, but he struggled deeper until his head was all the way under.
God, we don’t even have anything of him to bury.
I just keep thinking about how scared he must have been, the sand sinking all around him. It must be a really awful way to die.
Last night I found myself sitting in the bathtub, pouring handfuls of dirt on myself, trying to imagine what it’s like to have the earth fill your nose and mouth, then your throat, then your lungs.
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Dear Diary,
Spent most of the day punching blocks to make money. Menial, boring. Wonder what happens when we die. I mean, five times, and then use all the continues. Wonder what happens when we die…that sixteenth time.