What the Scientist Responsible for Reviewing the Voltron Project Should Have Said

Guys, holy shit.

This is never going to fucking work.

First of all, I don’t understand the point of this project at all.  5 robotic lions, fine.  Why you would make some much bigger and more powerful than the others, I don’t know, but fine.  But to then have the 5 lions combine into one gigantic humanoid robot is just unfeasible.

For one thing, the technology involved in connecting and synching five separate robots is so far beyond our current scope that I don’t even have the language to describe the challenges we’d face.  If we were talking about building the five lions and then an entirely separate giant robot, that’s a conversation I might be able to add some positivity to.  But this, this is insane. 

And if I understand these specs right, each of the limbs is controlled by a separate pilot, and the fifth pilot controls the head and torso.

If I can make an analogy, do you remember that three-legged race from field day in school?  The one where they tied your left leg to another kid’s right leg and then you were supposed to run?  This is sort of like a much shittier version of that.  Also it costs billions of dollars instead of the cost of a shitty piece of rubber.

And looking at your proposed pilots here…you have a princess, two guys who look pretty much the same, a fat guy and what appears to be a nine year-old.   In good conscience, I can’t approve a plan that involves a grade school child manning a war tank, regardless of whether it’s shaped like a cool animal.  I understand that he’s a boy genius, but that’s why I think we can find much better things to do with him than having him drive a mechanical lion and fighting giant monsters from outer space.  Merely putting him through the necessary training to be a pilot would be child abuse.  That’s sick, and I’m disgusted with this department for even suggesting it.