“This one started a little slower than Agent Cold Beer’s last assignment. It almost felt like, you know in a TV show like Modern Family where they have a Hawaii episode for almost no fucking reason? It’s an episode where you’re like, Geez, I think they could have learned these lessons about liking themselves or whatever in Illinois? Or wherever, really?
But then you realize, Ah, you shoot a two-part episode of your show in Hawaii, that’s like a free almost-vacation. Makes sense.
This book felt a little like that. Maybe Charles Hinton took a trip to Japan and wrote it off as a business expense? As research for his next novel? Is that possible? Could this be the greatest scheme of all time, indie writers doing up super-short books and then using them as a catalyst to take fabulous vacations.
But we got back to form when Beer kills his mark, Bad Temper Ninja, using a Conan-style broadsword. Which, it turns out in a nod to the first book in the series, is actually a shotgun in disguise.
Yep, that makes two foes Beer has defeated by bringing a gun disguised as a knife to a knife fight.
And Beer lives it up on his flight back to the states, flying in a private jet with a naked stewardess who brings him chicken nuggets, peanuts, and beer. Again, is it a scheme? “I need to fly in a private jet with a naked stewardess bringing me chick nuggets. It’s the only way to capture the authentic experience.”
Charles Hinton. If we didn’t already suspect he was a literary genius, we now know he is probably the world’s most brilliant accountant. And watch the fuck out if he ever has a knife anywhere near you.”