“This dude has to do something once a month in order to continue living.
If a demon put this new lifestyle forth for me, what do I think it’d be likely he’d force me to do once a month?
+Put out an extremely sincere tweet.
+Substitute teach in a middle school.
+Wear those white capri pants that are really tight that you see total knobs wearing on TV.
+Try to pull off a fedora.
+Be in a community theater production.
+Trim my eyebrows in a dimly lit bathroom with a small mirror.
+Defend The Last Jedi as a solid movie.
+Eat food made in a crock pot.”