“Hillbilly Volume 2 (Hillbilly, 2)”

“There are two people in most relationships:
There’s the person who is awakened by the noise downstairs.
And there’s the person who has to go check it out.
These are very rarely the same person. It’s an unfortunate part of the human condition.
As a person who checks out the noise, I would like to make a plea to the other part of the population: Can we just assume it’s a noise that doesn’t matter? Because it is?
Or, alternatively, how many hours of lost sleep should equal one risk of being murdered in your own home? In other words, once the checker has been woken up, let’s say, 100 times, is it now the other person’s turn to check?”