“Stonelifting is about stone lifting. Another book that’s pretty honest in its title, you’ll get what you expect here.
In 2019, oh, when I was a sweet, innocent boy who thought I’d be able to go somewhere ever again, I watched this movie called Stoneland, and I made it my goal to go to Iceland and lift the manhood stone at Djúpalónssandur beach. There are four stones there, and the legend goes that you lifted the stones to determine your share on a fishing boat. If you lifted the smallest, you were “worthless” and couldn’t go. If you lifted the next stone, you were allowed to work a boat, but for only a very small share of whatever was brought it. If you lifted the next stone, you’d be half-strength and get a half share. Lift the biggest stone, you’d be full-strength, and you’d get a full share.
There are lots of other stonelifting theories as well. One is that stonelifting was a way for fishermen to prove their manhood without punching each other. This way, they’d be less likely to put each other out of commission.
Anyway, the heaviest stone is 154kg or 339 lbs for you Americans (and me). So I got a barbell set and started working on my strength.
I don’t know that I could lift it just yet, it’d be a stretch, but I’m fairly certain I could at least lift the half-strength stone, so that’s something.
Anyway, last year I was quite unhappy to learn that Roxane Gay went to Iceland during a pandemic when nobody was being allowed in. I guess she’s special. She talked about her trip and then told women that they should be more assertive or some shit because they’re always being trod upon. And I was like, “At some point does Roxane Gay not get to talk about being trod upon? Like maybe when a country, during global pandemic, bends the rules to let you come on by on vacation? Doesn’t that indicate you personally are out of doormat territory at this point?”
I’m just mad because as far as I know, she made no attempt to lift the stones. Maybe I’m wrong, and maybe she took a crack at them and just doesn’t want to brag. But I don’t think that’s the case. Complete waste of a trip to Iceland. Not cool. And who knows when, if ever, I’ll be able to make the trip.
That said, if you run a shitty motel or restaurant, maybe a bar, I recommend getting some lifting stones. Create a tradition around the stones, make up a good story, get a logbook for everyone who lifts them, and watch the money roll in. Especially if you’re a restaurant in the middle of nowhere. People who lift big-ass stones spend a lot of cash on food.”