“Someone does, in fact, catch a frog on the first page, so 10/10 for setting up an expectation and meeting it.
I read this in the bathtub. See, I got this nagging injury, and supposedly epsom salt baths help. I don’t really see how. I mean…the salt goes through your skin? Maybe this is some copper bracelet bullshit, or magnets, or whatever.
When I was younger, I tried doing the ice bath thing for a bit when I had an injury. I’m reading now that ice baths are bullshit, they might give you some pain relief, but they don’t actually help you heal from injuries. Which is just the worst. Ice baths don’t do dick? And epsom salts do? All this time, when I was sitting in a freezing ass bath, I could’ve been in a warm bath with some Mr. Bubble?
Ah, Mr. Bubble. I feel like Mr. Bubble hasn’t been ruined by internet horniness yet. And DON’T disabuse me of this notion, okay? I’m not going to search it, and neither are you. NOBODY type “Horny Mr. Bubble” or “Pregnant Mr. Bubble” or “Mr. Bubble/Mrs. Bubble Cuck Action” into anything, ever. Not even as a joke.
Wait, shit, I just typed these things into the internet.
Shit, I’m going to be responsible for the ruination of Mr. Bubble.
Still smells great, though. I could understand why kids would drink that shit. “