“Proud to announce my a new Kindle book:
Conntra: Wads of Power
Yes, our heroes kick some ass, then do some other stuff with some asses. Asses aren’t just for kissing, people.
You might have read portions of this work on my web site, but the new, scintillating twist ending will shock and amaze and arouse and disgust and entertain and electrify readers.
You want blurbs? You got ’em!
“Epic, intelligent, and full of heart.”–COMICS ALLIANCE
Now, to be fair, that blurb is for Descender by Jeff Lemire. But I think it applies to more than one thing. Every time I log into Goodreads I see some damn quote, and those are NEVER actually about Goodreads. And I don’t care how many times you say it in how many history books, I still refuse to believe that “Balzac” was a real dude. C’mon. That can’t possibly be a name.
“Michael Kimball never ceases to astonish. He is a hero of contemporary fiction.”–Sam Lipsyte
Also not a blurb about this book at all, but totally true and accurate, and really I feel like it’s a fair thing to just put on any book. Why not have a blurb that’s all “Michael Kimball is awesome”?
Hmm. Okay. Let’s try some online blurb generators and see what happens:
“Lance Bloggs is a Blonde, Muscled and Loyal Mercenery from 8-Bit Land. His life is going nowhere until he meets Bill , a Taut, Brimming man with a passion for Showers. Lance takes an instant disliking to Bill and the Hard and Traditional ways he learnt during his years in The Jungle. However, when a Alien Robot tries to Shoot Lance, Bill springs to the rescue. Lance begins to notices that Bill is actually rather Enmeshed at heart. But, the pressures of Bill’s job as a Mercenery leave him blind to Lance’s affections and Lance takes up Cigars to try an distract himself. Finally, when Murderous Kid, Billy , threatens to come between them, Bill has to act fast. But will they ever find the Steamy love that they.”
I’d say that isn’t wholly inaccurate. But PRETTY inaccurate, to be sure.
“A dark transformation. A secret bloodline. Bertram, a botanist, finds himself plagued by alcholism when disaster strikes. Now Bertram must join forces with the twisted Gaia Agency to uncover the mystery. The journey takes them from the steam tunnels of MIT to a black hole research center and finally to a secret space station powered by Earth itself. But the end of their search may prove to be the beginning of the end for humanity…”
We don’t go to any of those places, I’m afraid. But on the plus, there’s nothing called the Gaia Agency either. I promise you that. I have integrity and would never allow something like Gaia Agency to enter into my prose.
“CONNTRA: WADS OF POWER is a collection that both questions and undermines all of our assumptions about how we choose to ‘see’ our world. This is always the highest ambition of art. The diverse forms push against words in single file, against the ways syntax projects coherence and smoothes over disjunctions. In this book, one hears the footsteps of all the teachers and friends and loved ones and strangers that people Peter Derk’s mind (the blood’s library) and heart (the blood’s dancehall); one recognizes them as the footsteps of our own wide-opened, inescapable world. The meditative variation at play in this ambitious collection shines forth brilliantly, at any hour of the day or night.”
I’ll take it!
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