“Okay, I read this book that I wrote. OUT LOUD. And I recorded it, which means you can hear me read it. OUT LOUD.
That’s right, finally you can read one of my great titles without reading. And I won’t judge you for being lazy. I WILL judge you for sloth because that’s a sin. That’s a sin, and you are going to pay for that one. Also, if you just want to use audiobooks because you eat so many Cheetos that you can’t help but get Cheeto dust on your hands…I’m torn on that one. On the one hand, it spares books your orange dust. On the other hand, I’m afraid Cheetos are beginning to have a bad effect on your life that can’t be ignored.
Join me! There are thrills! Gyrocopters! VERY lazy skeletons! Industrious dwarfs! Treacherous wizards! Lady wizards who are either sexy lady wizards or very empowering characters depending on which perspective will trick you into experiencing this amazing book right here.
It’s all here. Listen up, and if you can, write me a review once you’ve listened. And do me a favor. Either make it glowing or make it sting. Frankly, a very insane, negative review will be a lot more fun for me to read than an “Eh, it’s a thing.” So go for broke!”