“Matt Kindt is pretty cool.
Grass Kings seems to be about a little town that has successfully seceded from the United States(?) I’m not totally sure that it’s the U.S. or that the town is really, totally seceded, but that’s the basic setup here.
If I had my own country? If I made the rules? Boy, that’s a question. I fantasize about opening my own GYM just so I can kick people out for petty reasons.
86-able offenses at my gym?
Spitting- In the drinking fountain, in the garbage. I don’t give a shit. Here’s a quick guide to places you can spit: Can you pee there? If the answer is no, then you can’t spit there either.
Using the squat rack for like 30 minutes- Nope. Just nope. Get in there, do your shit, and get out.
Texting- GTFO.
Mirror selfies- Don’t get caught. Banned for life. That’s not what those mirrors are for, fool!
Asking someone to spot you for an asinine amount of time- This happened to me once. This asshole asked for a spot, I said sure, and then it turned out he was doing this thing where he loaded up a barbell from empty to 8 10 lb. plates on each side, 20 lbs at a time. So he had 8 steps going up, 8 coming down. 16 sets. This took goddamn forever. That dude is gone-zo.
Romance- No romance of any kind. No flirting, no picking people up. Fuck all that shit.
Overly loud grunting- If you’re doing something that requires that much grunting, you’re overdoing it, sir.
Dropping weights- If you can’t put it down gently, it’s too heavy for you, bro.
Food and drink other than water- Drink water, fuckers. That’s all you need.
Weightlifting sessions longer than 2 hours- Seriously, get a life.”