“Haruki Murakami Manga Stories 1: Super-Frog Saves Tokyo, Where I’m Likely to Find It, Birthday Girl, The Seventh Man”

“It’s my own fault for not paying attention and reading a graphic novel that adapts existing stories.

I’m not a fan of that act because I think it often ends up feeling like a cash grab, a way to repurpose existing material and sell it again. Which I don’t begrudge anyone. God knows I’d sell the same book a hundred times to the same person if I could.

In fact, a couple years back I can up with this book/scam called “The story that sold 1,000,000 copies.” It was a book with the same one-sentence story in it printed one million times. If I sold one copy, I could, from that day forward, claim I’d sold one million short stories.

The problem is that I could not figure out a way to legibly print a very short story 1 million times within Amazon’s print page limit. I created MANY a questionable InDesign file in pursuit of this goal, and while I haven’t given up, I would say it’s an idea that may never see the actual light of day other than being buried in a Goodreads review with a tenuous relationship to the story I’m telling.

I could just lie and tell everyone I sold a million stories. Who can stop me? And is that lie really very different from the lie I’d be telling by selling one copy of one book with a million repeats of the same story?

Yes and no.

No because, well, while selling the copy would be technically true, I know exactly what I’m doing and why it’s still a lie.

Yes because I am a believer in the occasional healthy scam. I think it keeps things interesting. Like some sort of feline fish.

A healthy scam must:

-Be truly harmless. The worst harm that would befall anyone would be purchasing one of my books because the person was fooled into thinking I was more popular than I was. This seems unlikely and even at its worst, harmless.

-require an amount of work that almost makes the scam not worth it, so the scammer only makes off with a very marginal profit/gain/spoil.

-Not involve dragging any friends or acquaintances through the mud with you (unless they’re 100% in the know and on board).

-not involve an exit in a special vehicle. In movies this is usually getting on a helicopter with a briefcase full of a thing that’s money that most people have never heard of (some kind of Banker’s Super Bonds or some shit), and in real life the vehicle is likely a pink Cadillac.