“The Double Dare Game Book”

“I was sort of hoping to find some challenges to replicate for a more adult party, and I didn’t find them, but that’s okay, good on you Nickelodeon.

Double Dare was always mystifying as a kid because I almost never knew the quiz answers and never really understood why people bothered with them because don’t you want to do the physical challenges?

I always thought I’d be great at that obstacle course if I got a crack at it. But now as an adult with lower self esteem, I recognize I probably wouldn’t have gone on Double Dare and been so amazing at the obstacle course that they’d make it an Olympic event and I’d be the first American to win gold (pretty sure that’s how basketball got in the Olympics, america was just really good at it).

I also always thought the same thing about Nickelodeon Guts. If I could get on that one, I’d show them a thing or two…

UNfun fact: I’ve tried buying a piece of the aggro crag on eBay. Mostly what you find are replicas. I wonder if the kids who won those still have them or if their moms threw them away.

I ALSO wanted Nickelodeon to take over my school. Partially because I hated school so damn much that even one day of not school was huge. I listened to an interview with a guy whose school got taken over, and he said it was legit and fun. Which makes it even worse. I was hoping to hear it was just a marketing scam and kinda sucked. That way I wasn’t missing anything.

My school never got taken over, I never appeared in wild n crazy kids, I never successfully won anything by saying “Snick or treat” when the phone rang.

What the fuck?

Maybe some Nickelodeon executive will hear my pathetic cry and bring this shit back, take over my work or something.

And this is growing up: when I was a kid, I thought I should be on Double Dare because of my obstacle course prowess. As an adult, I think I’ve earned it through my talents as a complainer on the Internet. “