“I read this because it’s Halloween time.
Now, you might be thinking, Pete, it’s early September.
Yeah, it is.
I have a guide to help you on your holiday journey, especially in deciding whether it’s too early to start celebrating a holiday: go fuck yourself, I do what I want.
Oh, and when it comes to Christmas, not before the first snow.
I read about a petition to move Halloween to the last Saturday in October. I thought about it, and I hate it. Why? Because when you do something fun, it should involve some small level of sacrifice. Flipside, you don’t need to invent reasons for people to go out and drink on a Saturday.
When it comes to trick-or-treaters, I don’t need those little fuckers running around at like 11 pm. They should just knock it off around 9. Then maybe they get to bed a little late. So what? Isn’t that the point? That you get to run around at night when you should be in bed?
If there’s no element of doing wrong on Halloween, if it’s now a respectable, responsible thing, doesn’t that sort of kill the fun? And on the adult side, doesn’t that just make more room for dilettantes? Which we do not need?”