“I read this and My Best Friend’s Exorcism back to back, so it sounds to me like it’s time for a good ol’-fashioned book off! Which is not a real thing, nor is it old-fashioned, let alone ol’-fashioned, but here we go.
Keeping in mind that I enjoyed both books, I made up a bunch of arbitrary categories in order to create a contest, in order to create a review, in order to amuse myself.
Category: Premise
MBFE is stylish and cool, but when you get down to it, the jacket premise is “Exorcism in the 80’s.” The plot takes it further, the story unfolds nicely, but that’s your setup.
HFOG has a more interesting premise. We’re catching up with a young woman who, as a kid, was the star of a reality show that focused on her family while her older sister was possessed by a demon. If I knew more about Keeping Up With The Kardashians, I’d make some kind of joke about Kim Kardashian being possessed or something, but I don’t even know if she’s on that show(?)
Winner: HFOG
Category: Thing It’s Most Like
MBFE is so much like the “San Junipero” episode of Black Mirror. It’s not that the stories are the same, it’s that the tone and the themes of female friendship coming from a somewhat-horror place, with nostalgia mixed in, that it’s impossible to ignore. I’m the only person on Earth who probably likes this episode of Black Mirror the least. But hey, they don’t give Emmys to shows where we follow someone who enjoys child porn, and they don’t give Emmys to shows that involve a prime minister banging a pig. I don’t know which award goes to that stuff, but I feel like Lloyd Kaufman would be involved.
HFOG reminded me a lot of the best parts of some of these found footage horror movies. Like Troll Hunter, which is pretty stupidly awesome if you’ve never seen it. I have to admit, I’m always going to be more of a Troll Hunter guy than a San Junipero guy. Friendship between old ladies is pretty cool, but if I’m munching popped corn and trying to crack a beer as quietly as possible in a movie theater (Listen to me. “IF.” Like this is a big hypothetical) then I wanna see some weird loner old man smashing trolls.
Winner: HFOG
Category: Writing Style
MFBE was a little third-person-y and distant for my liking. HFOG was from the perspective of a single character, very voice-y, and bounced between being childlike and more adult pretty flawlessly. The first 50 or so pages of MFBE is comparable, but my affection for that character died off where I was with Merry the whole ride in HFOG. The style in HFOG is awesome, and the writing is to my taste, big time.
Winner: HFOG
Category: Celebrity Cameos
MFBE namechecks a good number of 80’s musicians and whatnot, but HFOG namechecks Karen (Hi!) and Stephen Graham Jones. Hey, it’s all about who is a celebrity to YOU, right? And some of us would be more excited to run into Karen or Stephen Graham Jones than Phil Collins. Sorry, Phil, but the only time I care about Genesis is when it’s preceded by “Sega.”
Winner: HFOG
Category: Cover
MBFE has an awesome paperback cover that looks just like an 80’s horror VHS. Which is awesome in itself, but when one considers I wrote a column addressing this very idea (https://litreactor.com/columns/13-things-book-covers-can-learn-from-horror-vhs-covers) like two years prior, well, who hates to point to something and say, See? Toldja.
Nobody hates doing that. We have to SAY we hate it sometimes to seem just the eensiest bit humble, but we fucking love it.
Winner: MBFE
Category: Gore
I’m a gorehound, so you know I’m going to be looking for some gore. MBFE edges out HFOG because of one scene, but I have to say both are pretty light on the gore. That said, the one scene in MBFE is that sort of hilarious, Dead Alive kinda gore that you just gotta love. Although the little gore in HFOG is pretty great too.
Winner: MBFE
Category: Scariness
Let’s be clear, I’m not saying how scared I was, I’m talking about how scary the book is shooting to be and how effectively it does that. I’m not generally scared by books, and whether or not I’m gasping while reading a horror novel is a silly benchmark. If the emotional reaction in the viewer is the pinnacle, then Iron Giant is the greatest tragedy committed to film. While neither book is super ultra scary, I give this one to HFOG. In HFOG, our main character is somewhat helpless to stop the horror around her. In MBFE, the character has a lot more agency because, well, she’s quite a bit older. It’s sort of like how in a Resident Evil game, part of the reason the controls are so clunky is that the designers want you to be unable to run away, shoot, and do all that stuff when you’re freaked out. It replicates the experience of terror to have less ability to do what you want to do. In HFOG, the character definitely has fewer options and less ability to exercise those options.
Winner: HFOG
Category: Endings
Endings are tough. MBFE has a weird ending. It was sort of sweet, sort of realistic, and part of that realism is that the ending was kinda ho-hum and a little bit rushed. HFOG has a bit more saved up for the end, and just when you think it’s out of gas, there’s a little bit more in the tank. I’m torn because I like the MBFE ending almost as its own piece of short fiction, and I like it because it feels very real. But as the endings relate to the preceding story, HFOG fits better with everything before, and it’s pretty damn satisfying too.
Winner: HFOG
Category: Supernatural
Both books are somewhat ambiguous when it comes to whether or not the possessed character is really possessed. Sure, they’re being total jerks, but maybe this is just them being jerks? #Teens #AmIRite?
I have to give credit to HFOG on this one. I don’t want to explain it out because it’ll get spoilery, but HFOG spools out the idea of whether or not the possession is happening in a more interesting way.
Winner: HFOG
~
Okay, so clearly I liked HFOG better. Which is ultimately a silly thing to come down on, because both were a good deal of fun. If I was going to say you should read one possession book this year, I’d say read Head Full of Ghosts. But I’m not going to say that because I think a year is more than enough time to read two good books with possessions. C’mon, live a little. “