“Ah, and NOW we get to do F, Marry, Kill: Boys edition!
I’m counting the following three boys: McGraw, obvs, Ed, and Susan’s Dad.
You might wonder why I’m not counting Dean. If you’re wondering that, it’s obvious that you haven’t read the books. You loser. YOU fuckin’ loser!
Marry: Ed. I mean, duh. Of course I’m marrying Ed. Anyone given these three options who doesn’t choose Ed is, at best, leading with their crotch, and, most likely, just a complete buffoon.
F: McGraw. Dude exists in the perfect intersection of bears and otters, and that seems like the way to go if I’m going there with a dude. It’s like a sampler platter.
Kill: Susan’s Dad. Well, I’d feel horrible about it. But maybe it’d put him out of the misery of living in an RV in the backyard.”