“Kaiju No. 8, Vol. 1”

“A monster man has to pee, and he pees from his nipples, much to his own surprise.

I can’t provide you a better peek into the book than that. If that made you laugh, then you’ll like this one. If you didn’t think that was funny, you’re:

A) Probably not the audience for this book
B) Kind of a stick in the mud. C’mon, dude, that’s funny.
C) Uninvited from my next party. I haven’t had a party since 2019, but it’s possible I’ll have one again someday, sorta, maybe…
D) Reading books where people don’t pee. Which means you’re doing reading all wrong.
E) Wait a minute, didn’t you laugh when Maya Ruldolph took a dump in the street in Bridesmaids? How’s that any different? Because she’s in a wedding dress? And runs out into the street instead of into a bathroom, which a bridal shop surely has? I feel like someone got that image in their head, someone taking a dump in a wedding dress in the middle of the road, and then they had to torture the script to make that happen, rush into it, and hope nobody noticed that it doesn’t make a whole lotta sense. Now, a monster peeing from his nipples, THAT makes sense. Why would his body, which has all sorts of different abilities and so on, work like a human body? THIS is science, Bridesmaids is a failure of science. Harsh indictment, I know, but here we are. We can’t afford to be anti-science anymore, not in 2023. Burn your copies of Bridesmaids. It’s the only way.”