“I saw this twice in theaters AND read the novelization of this movie.
Here’s how it happened.
I would’ve been about 15 when this came out, and at that time, I saw EVERY cool movie in theaters, plus a lot of not-cool movies.
In this same year I’d see Blade, Six Days, Seven Nights, John Carpenter’s Vampires, Small Soldiers, Mask of Zorro, The Faculty–I’d see whatever was around, you know? I had my first job at McDonald’s, and a good chunk of my paychecks went to buying movies on VHS and going to the theater.
The trailer for The Avengers made it look pretty awesome, like an action romp with Uma Thurman in a catsuit, Sean Connery with some diabolical plan to take over the world. What’s not to like?
And when I went, I was SO BORED. It’s just so boring. It’s not even like, say, Lost In Space, also from 1998, which isn’t mind-blowing, but it’s not bad, you know? And it gets so crazy when Gary Oldman turns into a monsterman and shit?
Anyway, saw it, it sucked, moved on.
Well, at this time, about an hour away in Denver, a mega theater opened up. This was a new thing for our part of the world, a huge theater with stadium seating a super loud sound and all kinds of shit.
My friend was going there with his family, asked me if I wanted to go, and I was like, “Fuck yeah!”
Didn’t even occur to me to ask which movie we were seeing until we were on the way.
I know that sounds nuts, but that’s how powerful the allure of a theater like this was at the time: I didn’t care! Besides, I’d watch just about anything twice, even three times in the theater, so how bad could it be?
When the family said what we were gonna see, I told them how shitty it was, I was like, “Trust me, anything else is better. This movie sucks.”
Now, my own reputation probably worked against me. I had no discernment, and I can understand why nobody believe me. The trailer looked awesome! It was an actionfest, perfect for that big screen.
I remember looking over at the other folks I was with throughout the movie. Everyone was bored out of their minds. Yawns. Heads resting in hands. Just utterly bored.
The best part was, we’re leaving the theater, and my friend’s mom was like, “That sucked. Why didn’t you warn us?”
I have to give it to her, that shit was hilarious.
Okay, then I read the novelization. Why?
I got onto reading movie novelizations for English class. We had to do leisure reading for that class, and the deal I worked out with the teacher was that I could read movie novelizations so long as I finished them and turned in a book report before the movie came out. Which may have actually been handy for him, what easier way to check up on whether a student is reading than to get a book report about Tomorrow Never Dies, then go see it in the theater in a couple weeks?
At this time, the novelizations came out before the movies, which I guess was an early signal that NO ONE gave a fuck about books. I guess there’s also the lack of internet, so it’s not like someone can read the book and spoil it for the entire planet.
Anyway, I think the Avengers book was after the movie, but I’d gotten into reading these novelizations, so I went for it that summer. And I thought the book was pretty good! Same with Tomorrow Never Dies, by the way, I remember thinking “The book is better than the movie,” even though I couldn’t say it with full smugness because the book was BASED on the movie. Oh, well.
For someone who never watched even a moment of the original Avengers TV show, I sure ended up putting a lot into the franchise. “