So is this planned in any way, or is it more like you get convoluted directions from a giant loom like in that shitty Wanted movie?
If this was planned, do you think you might go ahead and let me know ahead of time so that I can consider an alternate route or, I don’t know, doubling the time it takes to get to work? Don’t worry, as long as I don’t shower, pee, eat, or actually wake up until I’m almost there, I’ll have plenty of time.
Have you heard of a man named Thomas Edison? I only ask because he invented this thing called the light bulb which would allow you to work early in the morning or later into the evening, times at which there won’t be enough cars stacked up that I’m considering buying pizzas and selling them as I walk along the lines of cars.
Is the insane beard and ponytail thing what brought you to this career path, or is it the career path that morphed you into this unhirable Sons of Anarchy reject?
Are you aware that when you hold the sign that says SLOW on one side and STOP on the other you are sending messages to traffic coming from both sides? Have you considered not standing in the middle of two lanes, signaling only the necessary lane, and then I won’t have to see that look of dumb frustration on your face, sort of the look when cavemen first had trouble shitting?
Did you have a nice summer? Because you sure as hell weren’t here in the summer, doing shit in the time of year when there aren’t all of a sudden 40 billion people on the road when school lets out.
How much fucking cash can one man spend on Ray Bans?
Would you say that leaning up against different types of vehicles when you’re not doing anything is a hobby, or has doing it for money sort of taken the fun out of it?
What the hell are you thinking about out there all day as the sun is just warping your mind? It seems like maybe you should consider spending just a small portion deciding what to yell at people who piss you off, because from what I’ve heard it’s never that good.