“Pete, congratulations on defeating your enemy.”
“-huff- -huff- yeah. Thanks. Um, thanks, Gandorf.”
“Now that you have slain him, you must eat his eyes and gain his strength.”
“What? Oh, no. That’s okay. I’m feeling pretty good here. I think I’ll be alright with this amount of strength for now.”
“No, it is custom. You must.”
“I’m just not comfortable with it. I don’t want to pop it out of the guy’s head, and even less than that, I don’t want to eat it.”
“How will you gain strength?”
“I had enough strength to stab this asshole in the first place. I already won. I’m fine. Let’s drop the eyeball thing, please.”
“This is how things are done here, Pete. I know that many of our ways are strange to you. I know that you came here through a great swirling hole in the sky that happened because, as you say, you tried to play a Sega Genesis game in a Super Nintendo. But you must do this.”
“Look, this is not something I’m into, I don’t want to feel an eyeball crush between my teeth, and if I had known about this eyeball stuff I would have tried to kill a guy with less yellow eyes. This guy’s eyes are disgusting.”
“If you will not eat the eyes, then you must eat his heart.”
“…can I put it in a smoker first? With some cedar chips? And maybe eat it mixed in with some brisket?”
“What is a smoker? And cedar chips.”
[throws down sword in disgust] “This place is total bullshit.”