Beermas/Cagemas double feature! PBR Coffee: this is not an unholy combination of pbr and coffee, it’s like a super sweet Frappuccino thing. I thought it’d be like the sort of thing a dockworker would drink to fight a hangover, a pbr with coffee dropped in, and I was wrong. It’s so sweet it’s almost impossible to drink. The Rose, I’m told, was excellent, and at about three times the alcohol content of a beer, it was a hit. Season of the Witch was almost a movie. It had characters with a purpose and a plot twist of sorts, but at the end of the day it was kinda boring. Did learn from the credits that Gabor is like Mike in Croatia. Fosters is like any decent cheap beer, but being large is a plus. The opening is also small, like the standard opening from before someone invented the wide mouth, so it gets comedy points because it just looks hilarious. The Shandy was pretty good, though the consumer might have still been working through the Rose at that point. Drive Angry is kind of like one of those movies that seems like it was written by me when I was 17. I thought for sure it’d win this year’s Cagey Award for Most Inappropriate Onscreen Relationship, but somehow that’s avoided and instead Cage has sex with a waitress while also having a gunfight, which leaves the waitress understandably traumatized, but also is a good example of the weird tone in this movie. If you’re gonna make that scene, you have to make the waitress a sick weirdo who’s into it, or who like blisses out when she orgasms and doesn’t even remember the gunfight (give her a line like “gunfight? I don’t know. I definitely saw fireworks.”) It’s not as fun as-is. Anyway, it misses the Cage sweet spot because it’s not so weird that it works, and it’s not so fun that it works, it’s just kinda…there.