Wow.
Okay, I’ve been pretty cryptic about it up to now for obvious reasons. But I’m so proud to be part of the vast expansion of the Star Wars universe.
A lot of you are probably like, “What? How? Is this, like, a podcast among other Star Wars properties? Or like the web site? What’s being referred to here?”
Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down. It’s all going to be okay.
First of all, nothing is changing. Other than I’ll have lots of money and the opportunity to review Star Wars properties before they come out so I can tell you how good to great they are. So don’t worry!
I’m sure a lot of you are also asking why.
Well, as we know, representation is important in Star Wars. Even though it’s a completely different universe. And there is no Latin America in that universe, therefore no Latinos in that universe. Really, Chewbacca, Yoda, and any non-Earthling-Appearing character is a move towards diversity.
And is the Star Wars universe like ours in terms of diversity? That makes no sense. In a universe of so many races, is it possible, or even likely, that…say, fat people would be perceived the same way as they are in ours? It makes no sense.
But that’s only what an idiot would say.
Because this is an important issue in Star Wars, they were looking for more diverse properties.
Helpful Snowman has featured:
- MORE THAN ONE black woman.
2. Someone who spent most of his life in Argentina! He knows things about soccer! Alfajores? Gimme me more-es.
3. Other women besides the black ones, some of whom are not romantically involved with the host.
4. Voices that come out of bodies of different shapes (fats and not fats).
5. A real, live vegan.
6. A woman scientist.
7. A man or men who struggle with being extremely handsome.
Granted, we wasted all of these people in terms of describing their culture or life experiences. We mostly talked about vandalism and the motion picture Wild Hogs. BUT, we came about these guests honestly, which is why we got the inside track on some other podcasts who had to reach out and intentionally diversify their panels in order to be as cool as us here at HS.
Here’s the other thing: We’ve had zero #MeToo’s over here.
How is that possible? We have one employee. Who…admittedly has harassed himself thousands of times in the last decade. But that’s really not something we can deal with.
The point is, we were contacted by Disney Wars and asked to be part of this new lineup.
Now, granted, we understand the place we occupy here. Are we going to be as popular as Lando? Probably not.
But we can be as good as Ahoska? Ashcoke? Bob Hoskins? Whatever that is, for sure.
It was made pretty clear that we’re here mostly to “fill out” the ranks. Because if you look at these offerings, it’s pretty paltry. I mean, a single person with a full time job of watching Star Wars things could probably almost keep up with this. So there’s a need for some filler, which is exactly the kind of need we’re ready to fill.
So expect some changes, but they’re all positive, Star Wars-y changes. Which we all love.