Pizza
Okay, that tracks for me. We’ve all tried making our snack and then the pizza version. Sometimes it works, like for the bagel people who were high-fiving the shit out of each other in the early 90’s. Sometimes it doesn’t, like for me when Pizza Pringles came out and I blew all the cash I had at that time on a tube. I finished it. But it wasn’t hunger that drove me that day. It was red hot spite. So pizza, I give a pass on pizza.
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Strawberry
No. This is where my tolerance runs dry. Yes, we experimented with strawberry milk. But I never agreed to that on a societal level. And part of me always assumed strawberry milk only existed to weed out the true crazies. But a chewy, waxy stick of strawberry string cheese? The one positive is that this confirms my lack of belief in god as no god would allow such a thing to happen.
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Cheese
Yes. Cheese. Cheese-flavored cheese. The kids were very specific on this. It’s not Unflavored or Natural or something. It’s cheese that’s given a Dorito-type of cheese treatment.
If the logo for this company is anything other than an obese snake eating its own tail…well, I can’t even figure out how to finish that sentence.